Recently in squir·rel mon·keys Category

I like kids movies. I’ve seen Ice Age 1 & 2. Kids movies can be fun. Sometimes I go during the afternoon on a weekend when I have some time to kill. I can’t complain when an afternoon kids movie is filled with screaming kids.

Tonight I went to see Alice in Wonderland. 8pm showing on a sunday night. I really enjoyed the movie (how does Helena Bonham Carter get those roles?). Except for one thing.

A crying, noisy baby.

Now I know I have a reputation for “kids should not bee seen or heard” but I did feel that 8pm was really “adult time”.

Equally I understand that parents shouldn’t bee trapped in the house for the first 16 years of parenthood. But their are (parent and baby)[http://www.odeon.co.uk/fanatic/newbies/] screenings these days.

But perhaps your baby is a quiet one that sleeps through most stuff? Sure no problem. But if after a minute of crying the baby hasn’t settled down, I really think you should get up and take the kid outside till it does. The person at the cinema eventually did, but this was after 15 mins of disrupting the movie for the whole cinema.

I understand it’s not the baby’s fault. But I do blame the parent. My basic rule is, if I was making the same amount of noise (say talking on my phone) I would be considered inconsiderate (and most likely asked to leave). So why is ok for a parent to disrupt my evening relaxing time with my girlfriend?

The cinema to their credit, comped us when we complained after the movie, but I still found it really distracting, and inconsiderate of the parent.

I have friends with kids now. I do look forward to take A&S’s little one V, to the cinema in a year or two when she is older, giving me an excuse to see more kids films. Just at 3pm not at 8pm.

Dear Barclaycard

It’s been good. Well it was good. You were first to kiss me with the magic of credit when I came to this land like a lost stranger. You’ve treated me mostly well, but lately you seem to have lost interest. You wont call me on my mobile, you only leave messages when I’m out. You don’t seem to want to email. And when I want to buy stuff you kick up a fuss and leave me looking like a fool in the store.

Frankly I’ve had enough. I’m going to try a threesome with Halifax and that cute Virgin Amex number. They’ve been much more interested in showing me a good time.

I’m sorry. You’re ditched.

Yours truly with no regrets Sevitz

Dear Nike

I admit, I didn’t meet you half way. I didn’t train properly, and trust me, the pain is all my own fault.

However if you look closely at yourself you probably will admit you dropped the baton too.

I mean we wall know the London Nike 10k is a bit of a brand marketing thing. But in the past it was quite cool. Now with this “Human Race” palava, you’ve really just turned it into a massive advert for Nike+.

But hey, I could give you that.

However could you please direct me to the marketing whore who decided forcing everyone to watch a gig was a good idea? I mean we started running at 8:15pm. We had to be in the stadium by 6. So that’s near on 3 hours we sat in the cold listening to bands we didn’t want to when we really just wanted to get on with the running. Seriously … what were you thinking.

I’d like to say “ill conceived” but I might just say “marketing wank and piss off”.

So now we are all cold and bored and irritable. And it starts to rain. Now that’s not your fault even if you carefully timed it to get some great marketing pictures of Wembley stadium lit up at night. However as a place to run at night, if we’re honest Wembley is not fucking London bridge (where you did the first one). Things that aren’t inspirational when running

• Ikea
• Tescos
• The A1
• The Ikea Loading bay
• Parking lots
• Industrial estates
• The Tesco Garage
• Construction sites
• Zig zagging through the same boring parking lot

Lucky London has a lot of cute behinds on their lady folk else it would have been a complete disaster.

I did my worst time. I admit it, I should have trained. But running in the cold and the wet (Wembley has more puddles than anywhere on the planet) in the most shit hole ugly part of London did you no justice.

Please stop with the wankering and go back to organising decent races again.

Yours Sincerly

Adrian - 1:05:50 - Sevitz

(My Nike+ is out by 1.5% in it’s calibration, I did run a full 10kms)

I was going to a blog post on some usability thing on Facebook, but I'll get around to this after I get back from snowboarding.

Instead I'll go back to the true spirit of the internet ... pointless crap.

My answers to the rest of the survey were not much better. Still 5 mins of my time, possible £20 voucher.

I'm sure I'm going to land up on a hit list of researchers and survey people one day.

You've got mail.

Oh I do, excellent. I love email.

1 New message. Unread. From dating website.

Oh I do, excellent. I love girls.

>> Subject: You have an unread message from An______7.

Oh I do, excellent. I love pretty girls.

Hello dear stranger!

How are you? I read your profile, and I have decided to write to you!!!!! If my profile to you it is interesting, please write to me back!!!!! My name Anna and I'm 29 years old! The greater information you may learn having read my profile! I hope that have interested you and you write to me soon! I with impatience shall wait for your letter and I hope that we may more learn each other! I think that it will be better if you write to me on e mail kr____(at) gmail (dot) com! And I also shall send you my photos! I really hope that you write to me!
I with impatience shall wait for your letter!

Anna.

Oh Anna. Where that you were real. I could say to you "I think you should learn better written grammar. In my house I am the one with the bad spelling and shitty written grammar. I with impatience shall wait for your letter written in English English not Russian English

No insult to Russians intended