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I've never hit a women, but today I got close.

I was shaking when I sat down, with the effort to control my anger.

Those who know me, know I might grumble and get annoyed easily, but I don't have a temper, and few people have see me 'lose it'.

There are a group (5) of women who arrived late on Thursday night and woke me up by having a loud inconsiderate conversation in the passage outside out room. They woke me up at 7am this morning and I can hear one of their high whiney voices through the wall now.

I call them 'The Primark Women' due to their ski outfits which they think look expensive and classy but aren't. The other day during the ski hosting, one spent the whole morning on the phone yelling at her manicurist because her nails had chipped and how was she meant to go out. I kid you not. They've also complained loudly that this is the first time they have had to carry their own skis.

They are not my favourite people.

I have been quite looking forward today. Today it stops. A green salad and a glass water sounds really appealing. After a month of overeating and solid drinking, after several months of not watching what I'm eating ... I'm quite looking forward to a simpler diet.

That is till I realise all the lovely restaurants I can't eat at. Loving good food and drink is a curse I tell you.

Weight in this morning was 74.0 kgs (only 1 kg over what I thought I was) with 17.5% body fat (ug).

Target is 70.0 or less by the ski trip (March 19th). Target is tough.

Method is mostly sensible eating, plus hitting the gym 4-6 times a week.

Sensible eating means

• No chips, no crisps
• No sweets
• No pizza, burgers, curry nights, junk food or take out.
• No pastries, muffins, cup cakes
• No cheese (queue weeping)
• No beer, less wine. Whiskey and Gin and Slimline Tonic ok.
• No sandwiches, paninis, white bread
• Small portions, less overeating
• 1 glass of sparkling water for every alcoholic drink
• More cooking, less going out
• No non diet soda drinks
• Muesli/Porrage for breakfast (stops me getting hungry and snacking)
• No drinking nights without food (as that ends up in MaccyD's)
• 1 guilt free night a week
• Exceptions for my birthday

One day I'll master the art of eating lovely lovely food out and losing weight. Doesn't appear to be anytime soon though.

You know … sometimes a man has to make his mark … and write a top 5 list.

1. Ice Cold Coke, in a 300ml bottle, from the back of the fridge set to cold.
2. Glass of red wine. Probably Pinor Noir.
3. Freshly squeezed orange juice. Not too sweet. In a frosted cold glass. Really cold. So it’s both fresh and cold.
4. Coffee. It’s dark. It’s bitter. It’s lovelyu.I should say expresso, but I’m a dry cappuccino man.
5. Whiskey. Single malt if it’s Scotch. Close to single Malt if it’s Irish. Expensive if it’s bourbon.

Honourable mentions should go to beer. And when I say beer I mean lager. In a bottle. And cold. It’s a most versatile drink, and goes well wiht moth social events and does sport better than any other. But I can’t recall any memorable beer moment, where everything else I mostly can. Sorry beer, you’re best of the rest.

Cocktails got considered for the list too, cause I love me my cocktails. But, they’re not quite simple and all the other drinks seemed purer. I just couldn’t really put it on.

Not even getting a look on

• Champagne - is and always will be mostly a mystery too me. Sparkling overpriced white wine. I’d rather have been and that didn’t even make the list. I drink it as part of a celebration because that’s what’s done., but … don’t get it.
• Gin / Vodka etc - bland bland bland. I mean nice as a drink, but nothing overly special about them.
• Water - venerable old H₂0, I mean we need it to live right, and it’s fairly nice after a long run, but it’s tasteless. I could live without it.
• Tea - don’t make me laugh. Like you can have a nice cup of TV but …. well lets be honest, it’s a bit lame. The the dweeby brother of coffee. I can’t think of one thing about tea, that’s worth a mention. It’s not that I dislike tea, I don’t. It’s just nothing more than ‘nice’
• Ale - Surely, you jest?

So why the five?

I was tidying up my kitchen

I took another delivery from Laithwaites on Friday and so was moving stuff around my kitchen. I don’t normally by cases of wine, let alone 3 cases in as many months, but they keep offering me “Bloody Good Deals^tm”. I’ve got somewhere around £140 off 39 bottles. Or 39 bottles worth £280 for £140. Which all in all isn’t that bad a deal. And a cork screw. I’m probably not their most lucrative client.

The thing is I don’t drink alone (usually). I live by myself. And when I go to parties I often forget to take a bottle, or nip down to shops and buy a new one. If it’s a “everyones very drunk party”, no need to take a good wine. And if it’s a party such that you get there and the host puts your bottle on the shelf and you end up drinking some other wine I don’t see the point in taking one of your own good wines. Mostly it’s because I forget.

So I was tidying up, and thought it would be interesting to count my booze. Then being a two dot zero geek, I thought it would be more interesting to index it and run some stats.

You can draw quite a few fairly accurate conclusions of what I like to drink.

The full list is after the fold.

1. Abba / Mamma Mia

   I think it's safe to say I have never liked an Abba song. They are all resoundingly awful. I'd rather have my teeth pulled with a claw hammer than see Mamma Mia (either the film or the musical)

2. Luis Vuitton

   It's ugly brown with an ugly logo. I cannot fathom why anyone thinks these look good.

3. Hello! / Ok! / Girls magazines in general.

   It's tough to say if they are worse that lads magazines (Nuts, Loaded, What not) but these are universally appalling. What's even worse is smart intelligent women read these. Playboy has better stories. Comics have better morals. These magazines lack even that.

4. Parking in disabled bays

   What.is.wrong.with.you.people. (That would be able bodied people parking in disabled bays)

5. Talking in movies.

   It's not a living room.

6. Not trying new things

   Life's to short to always order the same pizza

7. People who "don't really read"

   Books are the most amazing thing ever. Read something. Anything.