sevitzdotcom

Dear Barclaycard

It’s been good. Well it was good. You were first to kiss me with the magic of credit when I came to this land like a lost stranger. You’ve treated me mostly well, but lately you seem to have lost interest. You wont call me on my mobile, you only leave messages when I’m out. You don’t seem to want to email. And when I want to buy stuff you kick up a fuss and leave me looking like a fool in the store.

Frankly I’ve had enough. I’m going to try a threesome with Halifax and that cute Virgin Amex number. They’ve been much more interested in showing me a good time.

I’m sorry. You’re ditched.

Yours truly with no regrets Sevitz

Dear Nike

I admit, I didn’t meet you half way. I didn’t train properly, and trust me, the pain is all my own fault.

However if you look closely at yourself you probably will admit you dropped the baton too.

I mean we wall know the London Nike 10k is a bit of a brand marketing thing. But in the past it was quite cool. Now with this “Human Race” palava, you’ve really just turned it into a massive advert for Nike+.

But hey, I could give you that.

However could you please direct me to the marketing whore who decided forcing everyone to watch a gig was a good idea? I mean we started running at 8:15pm. We had to be in the stadium by 6. So that’s near on 3 hours we sat in the cold listening to bands we didn’t want to when we really just wanted to get on with the running. Seriously … what were you thinking.

I’d like to say “ill conceived” but I might just say “marketing wank and piss off”.

So now we are all cold and bored and irritable. And it starts to rain. Now that’s not your fault even if you carefully timed it to get some great marketing pictures of Wembley stadium lit up at night. However as a place to run at night, if we’re honest Wembley is not fucking London bridge (where you did the first one). Things that aren’t inspirational when running

• Ikea
• Tescos
• The A1
• The Ikea Loading bay
• Parking lots
• Industrial estates
• The Tesco Garage
• Construction sites
• Zig zagging through the same boring parking lot

Lucky London has a lot of cute behinds on their lady folk else it would have been a complete disaster.

I did my worst time. I admit it, I should have trained. But running in the cold and the wet (Wembley has more puddles than anywhere on the planet) in the most shit hole ugly part of London did you no justice.

Please stop with the wankering and go back to organising decent races again.

Yours Sincerly

Adrian - 1:05:50 - Sevitz

(My Nike+ is out by 1.5% in it’s calibration, I did run a full 10kms)

1. Abba / Mamma Mia

   I think it's safe to say I have never liked an Abba song. They are all resoundingly awful. I'd rather have my teeth pulled with a claw hammer than see Mamma Mia (either the film or the musical)

2. Luis Vuitton

   It's ugly brown with an ugly logo. I cannot fathom why anyone thinks these look good.

3. Hello! / Ok! / Girls magazines in general.

   It's tough to say if they are worse that lads magazines (Nuts, Loaded, What not) but these are universally appalling. What's even worse is smart intelligent women read these. Playboy has better stories. Comics have better morals. These magazines lack even that.

4. Parking in disabled bays

   What.is.wrong.with.you.people. (That would be able bodied people parking in disabled bays)

5. Talking in movies.

   It's not a living room.

6. Not trying new things

   Life's to short to always order the same pizza

7. People who "don't really read"

   Books are the most amazing thing ever. Read something. Anything.

If you go down to the woods today, this is what you may encounter if those woods are Regents Park and you’re on a picnic with me, and <cough>I want to impress</cough>

From bottom left clockwise

• Picnic blanket
• Pre-picnic cool box (see note on ice blocks)
• Picnic set
• Pellegrino Sparkling Water
• Core Apple Juice - Cox/Bramley
• Cushion
• Tyrrell’s beetroot, parsnip and carrot crisps.
• Celery (got chopped up into nice bits and put attractively with the corn and carrots)
• Baby carrots
• Baby corn
• Sunglasses (Oackly’s Gascans)
• Camera, aside from this only used to take one shot.
• Neil’s Yard Cheddar (aged 18 months)
• Two roundals of goats cheese.
• Gouda with mustard seeds
• Port and hazelnut chicken liver pate
• Aubergine dip
• Hummus (a classic)
• Moroccan baby tomato and other stuff I can’t remember salad.
• Roasted pepper salad with nuts and sultanas.
• Olives stuffed with feta, chilli and peppers. Also some sun dried tomatoes.