In pool when I play it, there is a certain shot where to get the ball to pocket I have to hit it with a certain amount of force. Any less force and my control isn’t good enough and the ball doesn’t make it to the hole or angels away. However the amount of force I need to get the ball to the hole is too much, and the ball hits the back of the pocket and bounces out. So what I need to get the ball to the hole keeps the ball out of it.
I’m not sure if this is irony, Alanis irony or something else entirely.
I’ve noticed, I have this same issue with girls. Not holing balls, so to speak, but with getting them to like me. (Bear with me, I’m not going off on a myopic one I promise)
Girls generally like me most of all when I am “cool sevitz”tm. Cool sevitz is fun and funky and quite entertaining to hang out with. My first gf I don’t even remember meeting the first time, but she remembered me. Because I was cool sevitz. (There’s a longer story in that that explains the details but it’s far less interesting). I might even go so far as to say non-girls like cool sevitz too, but who knows (who cares? do non-girls count as far as coolness counts?)
However if I like a girl, I turn into love-sick-puppy ( a term not coined by me, nor about me, but fits all the same). As love-sick-puppy I turn into gormless-idiot-sevitz. I over compensate complete. If you think you can over compensate, I can out over compensate you before breakfast without coffee. Add to that a healthy chunky dose of over thinking, a mix of total general idiocy and occasionally a sprinkling of psycho-ex-boyfriend and it’s really no wonder I am single.
I’d like to think this is somewhat endearing but I suspect it’s more enduring.
So what I really need to do for a girl to like me, is not like them. Which is a bit like my pool example above. What normally happens, if I manage to pull that off is the girl starts by liking me. i don’t like her back. And then we go through a changing of positions where i start to like her, and turn into love-sick-puppy and she gets over the liking me bit pretty quickly. Worse is once a girl has seen you as love-sick-puppy, there’s pretty much no going back. You’ve screwed the pooch (perhaps not the best turn of phrase here, but I like it. Not the pooch, the phrase).
So what I need to figure out is how to like girls without liking them.
Hmm, bollocks.
1. Danzor
Sometimes I look upon your works and I despair.
2. Imelda
In the words of Flavor Flav … “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!”
3. snowgoon.myopenid.com
Be yourself.
As in just be “sevitz”. You are a nice guy, stop trying to impress (which will get you girls you ultimately don’t like) and be yourself. If you end up as love sick puppy, so what? As long as you aren’t being trampled all over it should be fine, the right gal will soon mould you to her ways anyway… ;-)
4. cian
I think you should investigate the Furry scene. You’ll be appreciated as a love-sick puppy. By many sick sick puppies.
5. Matt
Do as Gordon said. Don’t try and be anyone but yourself. If you’re trying to be someone else to impress a girl, eventually you’ll “accidentally” be yourself anyway, and I don’t think the ruse will be appreciated by the lady in question, whomever she may be.
I wouldn’t call it “love sick puppy” syndrome either, it’s more of a “lust retarded moron” kinda thing. There’s lots of girls who love that whole love-sick-puppy thing (for a while anyway), whereas AFAIK there’s no girls who like the lust-retarded-moron.
6. Adrian
The point is, when I am not interested in the girl, I am myself.
When I like a girl I turn into love-sick-puppy. I act like anything but myself. It’s a bit Schrodinger (the observer of the experiment changes the experiment).
Lust-retarded-moron is something else. This is definitely love-sick-puppy. The expression was coined more for someone chasing after an ex. I’ve been that person too. The behaviour is not too dissimilar, except in this case it’s pre going out, not post.
7. Marc
I wouldn’t say it’s a case of not being yourself. After all you aren’t pretending to be “cool sevitz”tm nor love-sick-puppy. You can still be love-sick-puppy internally while being mostly “cool sevitz”tm on the outside. But you will want a dash of the former or you may not sink your shot.
It’s just behavioural training, which just by the virtue of recognising the issue puts you 90% of the way there. You just need learn to act differently based on the emotions you are feeling or thoughts you are having for a given situation. You can feel the same way but just alter the way you react by default. We all do it depending if we are with parents, colleagues, close friends, girlfriends etc.
For instance you might think someone is an arse at work, and there may have been a time you would have been more temperamental and effectively told them that but you may have learnt over the years to manage them more diplomatically. You still think they are an arse though.
But you’ve spent most of your life in a work environment so you’ve learnt how to behave where as meeting girls is a less frequent and more random experience. The virtue of the post though suggests that you are closer to figuring out how you want to behave or at least start fine tuning it.
It’s not fake to make yourself react differently. For example if I was sitting in front of the telly and some lovely jubblies suddenly appeared; now if I was with you there might be some leary comments made and some cheers. With your parents I most likely would be far more restrained if not completley oblivious to them. The way I feel about them actually is quite irrelevant to my reaction. In neither case do I feel like I am pretending to be someone that I’m not. I’m just being who I want to be in that given situation.
For what it’s worth, as a non-girl, “cool sevitz”tm has been known to give me a semi.
8. Matt
Yes! Yo can be cool, refreshing Summer Breeze (makes me feel fine) Sevitz™ on the outside, and still be wagging your tail and feeling a bit pukey on the inside. Just don’t do it the wrong way round.
9. The B
Yes! Matt has hit the nail on the head. Fake being yourself. Huzzah, problem solved. Out you go and pull some girlies.
Not that sometimes it doesn’t still become a problem later as you develop a relationship and they realise that the over-thinking generally idiotic pathetic person is there inside and accuse you of having a dual personality. Speaking from experience here. Recent experience.
Anyway at least it’s not like it’s not the real you (if you can get past those dual negatives) - it IS the real you, just not the one you’d naturally be at that very moment.
Gah. Life is just CONFUSING, I say. Loved your phrase “I’d like to think this is endearing but I suspect it’s more enduring”. Did you think about that for a long time or do these things just come naturally.
10. Adrian
Something just come naturally.
Not much but some things.
; )
11. Fake Sevitz
Actually I think most these girls don’t know what they are missing with The Sevitz. pah
12. Adrian
Right, who’s the joker who registered fakesevitz.com?
13. Danzor
Chopper, Matt, The B, you’re all wasting your time. I said all of this to Adrian half a decade ago and he nods his head and responds as though he is listening, but he doesn’t listen at all! He just keeps doing exactly the same thing over and over, and then complaining about how he keeps doing the same thing over and over. His adaptive circuitry must be broken or something.
14. fake sevitz
MY CPU IS A NEURAL NET PROCESSOR. A LEARNING COMPUTER
15. LOVE TOASTER
Hey,u may use the whole fake sevitz thng 2 win over grls bt in the lng run u r slowly change into ur normal self as u r going out with ur girlfriend for a longer time period and the 2 of u start gettin serious
16. Adrian
Is that even English?
17. Marc
Listen to the 14 year old, for she is wise beyond her years. She also makes you look like a spelling bee god damn world champion.
18. Marc
Sorry what I meant to say was:
lstn 2 th 14 year old fr sh is ws bynd hr years sh als mks u look lke a spllng bee gd dmn wrld chmpn