I had a friend who called indicators “tick-tocks”. Used to drive me batty, as it just sounded childish and … well dumb to me. For the same reasons I steam slightly at the ears when people write “u” or “wot” instead writing like an educated adult. 1
So it does amuse me that whilst the Brits are quick to jump on, an beat Americans with the smug stick, they specialise in some of the most annoying dumbing down that grates against my language sensibilities 2
The three that easily jump to mind and hit it with a “it’s so wrong” bat are
- Eggy Bread
- Joined up Writing
- Pancake Day
I look at those and I shudder. It’s like spiders with big nails walking up a black board.
For the record the real names are
What’s next, present-day (Christmas), arty-writing (calligraphy), square bread (loaf) and stick bread (baguette), porn box (computer), wordy paper (books), etc etc.
It’s all shudder worthy. And I hear these terms from smart, normal serious people who suddenly sound like children to me. Although I don’t think language should be dumped down for children either.
How anyone can think “joined-up-writing” sounds like something you would say beyond the age of 5 I don’t know. And what’s wrong with cursive?
Or how anyone can take lent seriously but then call it pancake day is beyond me. I’m not being picky here, I really don’t understand how you can keep 40 days of a religious discipline but then remove the hysterical or religious significance from the event by removing all the meaning of the day by trivialising it into it’s most mundane element. It’s strikes me as very odd.
I’m sure their are other examples of this, and it may not be a purely British trait, but for a country that gave us such a wealth of poetry and great writing, it strikes me as very odd.
But then wot do I know3?
1 Yes I know my grammer and spelling are not always in line with what one might view as an educated adult. However I will say these two things (1) They are not intentional, “u” and “wot” are, and (2) bite me.
2 Yes I have some. You have eats shoot and peas. I have my own.
3 I fully expect to be be yelled at for this blog post. But really … eggy bread? I mean come on.
1. Jack
They are emphatically and unashamedly both Pancake Day and Present Day to me, a full-on heathen who sees no reason to align her actions with their religious origins but still likes expensively gift-wrapped loot and batter-based calories at handily specific times of the year.
2. Adrian
But, I’ll assume you don’t keep lent either.
And I’ll assume you don’t really care which day you have pancakes on, as long as their is a day for pancakes?
In which case calling it pancake day would be fair. it just wouldn’t be shrove Tuesday.
3. Jack Pandemian
I do too. I gave up many things.
It is true that I only care about a dedicated Pancake Day and that it need not necessarily coincide with Shrove Tuesday, but if I were to arbitrarily assign another day to be Pancake Day - October 3rd, for example - I suspect I’d find Sainsburys much less accommodating with regards to BOGOF on Jif ready mixed pancake batter. So for convenience sake, it does rather have to be on or around Shrove Tuesday. Which means Shrove Tuesday = Pancake Day.
4. Kristina
I just love that you used bite me. I’m forever trying to explain that yes, it is an insult.
5. Mrs. X
Hang on, let me ring New Orleans and tell them they’ve got the wrong name for Mardi Gras.
6. Pete
I don’t care about Shrove Tuesday either. I have no interest in the day’s religious history, or even its Pagan history before that. All I care about is that it’s the one day of the year when I remember that I like pancakes.
7. Krissa
I’m also a complete wordsnob. I get very, very annoyed when we’re playing Trivial Pursuit and every question starts with “What..” even when a ‘which’ is actually called for.
Unless it’s absurdly funny, like all the stupid teenager-y acronym-speak. OMG TOTES ADORBS is just fun to say in an IM conversation, I don’t care what my fellow wordsnobs think. Hypocrisy! It’s the new black.
Also joined-up eggy pancakes sound yummy.
8. Stroppycow
Eggy bread has the merit of accurately describing the item. After all French toast is not particularly French and is not toast either since it is fried not toasted.
9. Adrian
Which is why it seems to be something “dumbed down for kids” and retained by Brits into adult life.
I mean if we’re going for accuracy in food names, I might come back with “Toad in the Hole” ….
10. stroppycow
In the line of babyfying language I find belly button worse than eggy bread, especially when oranges are allowed to be named after navels. I guess belly button oranges woulnd’t have quite the same ring to them =)
11. Cian
eggy bread sounds tastier than french toast but if the beastie boys rhymed..
“I don’t mean to brag, I don’t mean to boast but I’m intercontinental when I eat eggy bread”
…then I’d be a bit disappointed.
12. Rachie
Well I’ve always said eggy bread - I didn’t know what french toast was for years.
I do hate, though, that joined up writing has resulted in ‘joined up thinking’ - a phrase used far too often by my boss when she’s stuck for something sensible to say.