I just weeped through an episode of Grey's Anatomy1. I do this often. I do it virtually every episode Cold Case too. I've done it through episodes of Buffy. Hell I've cried through adverts. Likewise movies.
Makes me wonder if something is wrong with me. Not that I cry, hell most of my friends know it's pretty easy to set me off. But that I don't seem to have this empathy in real life.
I don't cry at funerals. I don't cry at weddings2. I feel very little emotional response when I hear of people's relatives, friends, family being ill or dying. Everyone else seems to be more family than me. I mean I love my family don't get me wrong, but every other expat speaks to and sees their family more than me.
It does worry me that I can be very empathetic to a TV program, and emotionally stunted in real life.I'd right it off to being selfish, but that doesn't explain the TV thing.
I'm sure I'm wired wrong somewhere.
1 The one where George's Dad dies.
2 Ok I don't know of any guys who do either3
3 Except one, and he was the groom and so mushy it was embarrassing.
1. Matt
I think I know what your problem is.
YOU’RE A GIRL. With a penis.
2. David
Real life doesn’t have a stirring soundtrack to give you audio cues about how you should be feeling.
I’m the same fwiw.
3. Adrian
Fair point, but I choked up reading in this mornings paper this line
Newspapers don’t have any blasted audio cues either.
Nice to know I’m not the only one/
4. Pete
I don’t think that’s weird. I am unemotional about a lot of situations where a certain reaction is expected. Then I find the emtion comes out at completely different, sometimes inappropriate, times. Could just be that you deal with life when it’s necessary and are sad when it’s a better time. At least that’s what I tell myself.
5. Crystal Van Wieren
I am the exact same way. I sometimes wonder, too, if I’ve emotionally shut myself off, but thinking about it rationally, it is perfectly normal.
The last time I remember crying about something in my life was almost a year ago when my cat died, but I just cried a week ago when I watched the movie Igby Goes Down (at the point where his mother dies). I suppose that, emotionally, I tend to lean more towards stressed and angry than I do to sorrow, but when I’m watching a movie (I don’t watch much television), I can just let my guard down and immerse myself in that world.
I don’t think you’re any more strange than I am. Probably far less, actually. ;) When you’re alone in your flat, and you’re just letting your mind wander into another world (the television show), letting down the walls that everyone has which keep them going through their daily routines, I don’t see why it would necessarily be a strange happening for you to cry at a particularly moving scene. And in real life, those afore mentioned walls and that forward thinking mind keep you from crumbling under the pressures you encounter every day.
Be happy about that. Think about how inconvenient it would be if you started crying every time a piece of code didn’t run or when you got stuck in bad traffic. I think it’s your mind’s defense, and perhaps you have trouble turning it off when it’s “ok” to do so. There’s nothing wrong with that. To be honest, I think more people do that than you realize.
Here’s a question for you - do you cry or get emotional when you’ve been drinking?
6. Adrian
I cry when I get angry.
I get emotional when drunk but tend not to cry.
7. Crystal Van Wieren
I’m sure you cry when you get really angry, not just when you’re sort of grrr at things, and that makes sense, doesn’t it? You’re letting your emotions take over at that point, bringing down the protection you’ve put around you.
This is my theory anyway. ^_^
As for feeling emotional about other people’s family members dying, I personally don’t feel any sort of sorrow over it, but I feel bad that my friend is sorrowful. Unless you were particularly close to that person who is ill/dying/dead, I don’t see any reason why you should have to feel empathy for that person. It’s the friend with whom you have a relationship that is your concern. You can’t say that you feel no emotion whatsoever for your friend’s sake.
Maybe it is because I’m similar to you that I find no problem with how you react to real life vs. television/movies, but I honestly think people that are quick to bawl at things are sort of silly. Like people that cry at weddings! I’m not talking someone who has a couple of tears at how “beautiful” it all is (which even that, in my opinion, is a little too sappy for my liking); I’m talking about those people who are all BOOHOO! Why in the world would a person bawl at a wedding (with exception to the parents, of course)?
Ah, tangent. Sorry.
8. Sausage
Hmmm and here I thought you may have shed a tear when we broke up :( perhaps you can shed a tear for the fact that we havent been able to get it together due to poor timing and my morals :) Ha Ha
9. Emchi
I wouldn’t worry, I cried my eyes out at the end of Series Two of Grey’s Anatomy like you wouldn’t believe. I’ve cried at one funeral and no weddings.