About 3.8% of this article actually happened.
I always wondered how come each week in this feature the person always seemed to score fantastically well.
Now I know.
The word I'm looking for here is "fabrication."
Pretty much the whole article has a tenuous link to the truth, but barely that. I gave an interview to the Speedbreaks guy, not a reporter. the reporter, as far as I can tell then, took his notes, and read them, threw them away and made up a story.
I'm not that lame or that cheesy.
I spent 45 mins being photographed with Vicky (and apologising)
I never wipped chocolate off her face. I never made naked bird jokes. I never avoided flirting with other girls.
I took Vicky out three weeks ago to thank her for being in the pictures.
No love blossomed (although she is a very loverly girl)
1. nrgza
I knew that chocolate part was a lie. You’d have licked it off, surely.
2. Rob
Wow, I’d be pretty angry about being misrepresented like that. I guess there’s nothing you can really do about it, though. I’d still send a nasty letter to the magazine.
3. Adrian
Not overly angry. I can’t fault the London Lite for being a rag can I?
4. Gordon
Rag or not, having featured in a Times Sunday supplement there is no difference, they still fabricate and twist things to what THEY want to say.
Sometimes I wonder why they don’t just stop pretending and call it “stories” rather than “news”.
Cute though.
The girl, not you. Obv.
5. Lori
I can’t believe I dumped the paper before I got to this page! I can, however, believe that London Lite is guilty of sloppy journalism. Nice pic though - love the apron :-)
6. Will
Adrian, that is truly classic. And meantime the guy bottom right is going to be getting too many more booty calls if he sticks his picture in the papers telling everyone that he’s giving you an excellent chance of picking up an STD if you sleep with him!
7. Destructor
I didn’t read the other sections until just now. The booty call guy sounds delusional. “Yeah, booty calls are so great…of course, the women involved seem to think I’m actually interested in them! Then they’re not so great!”
I hope he gets a steel booty called to his face.
8. Adrian
Bootycall guy gets laid every week with different women.
I think bootycall guy is made up too. Or the writings about one of my friends.
9. nrgza
Bootycall guy? Not with a ten-foot bargepole.
Seriously, is he wearing his dad’s clothes in that picture?
10. cian
i love the hideous slapper in the red dress and a face like a shoe who writes for the Lite. I can’t wait each week to read tales of her on the wrong end of a couple of sailors or being drugged and photographed by a bunch of 14 year olds and then ended here article with ‘but hey I’m just fun and single and looking for the next guy round the corner’.
I wonder what would happen if Booty Call man accidently got shitfaced and railroaded the Shoe-faced one? Would the universe explode?
11. cian
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=734895112
my eyes my eyes.
Sevitz - dare you to add her as your friend. And then get it on with her. And then get featured in the lite next week. And then notice it burns when you pee.
12. D
“I’m not that lame or that cheesy.”
And you certainly wouldn’t hang out with like-minded men and women no matter how desperate they were to appear in a paper.
There’s something very familiar about this article though… it reminds me of a completely fictional post I wrote about attending a How To Run a Phonesex Line class. Except replace cordon bleu with sleezy washed-up softporn star, and smear of chocolate with… I’ll stop right there.
13. Serena
Hey!
We met at N’s xmas drinks? Found you lurking as centrefold the other day and did wonder about the naked bird bits… I’d kick up a bit of a fuss I think - blatant misrepresentation that it is! You probably have at least one leg to stand on if you decide to press the point… Serena
14. The B
but seriously, Sevitz, two dating items in rags in, what, the last sixth months? How do you end up in these things when you are so scathing over dating websites etc (can’t quote you given the convenient loss of content). It can’t be completely unintentional.
p.s. can you make this thing tell people that email addresses are required? It just rejected me without warning and nearly lost my comment.
p.p.s. it IS a good photo..
15. The B
oh dammnit. Your content is up and now I look stupid. Your site is currently very misleading you know.
16. Adrian
Actually B, I’ve had near hits on 3 other rags too. I’ll blog about it at some point.
I’m not actually scathing over dating websites, although I do think they have their business models arse about face. (also a pending blog)
I don’t mind being in these things. So I land up in them.
I’ll try fix the commenting stuff as I try fix everything. Bit by bit.