[UPDATED] Dan's rating below (scroll down). Although he is wrong. The drink is awesome. The purpose of the drink is to be a non alcoholic refreshing drink, so I say he crit'ed it unfairly. Bah!
So it's summer, it's hot, and even though Alien Grey harks from a galaxy far far away (where both of his suns totally pwn our puny sun), he sometimes wants a refreshing summers drink. And you know how sometimes its so hot you don't really want an alcoholic drink, but something just purely refreshing. Alien Grey feels the same. But order a rock shandy in most villages in Britannia and you get half a pint of bitter with some lemonade. So Alien Grey has come to save you all with what is undoubtedly the most refreshing summers drink on the planet.
For today's recipe you'll need the following ingredients and stuff. Serves 2 people as a long drink
- Ice. Lots of.
- 1x Can of Lemonade, Sprite, or Sprite Zero (as used today)
- 1x Can of Soda Water (½L bottle will do)
- 1x Bottle of Angosture Bitters
- 2x Long or pint glasses
- 1x Plastic bag
- 1x Hard surface
per pint
Calories: 14 Calories, 0g Protein, 0g Carbs, 0g Fat. (with Sprite zero/diet Sprite/Sprite light)
Alcohol: 0.5%.
Dan the Destructor Rating - 3/5
The great thing about this drink is that is tastes like soda...that's because it IS soda! There's no alcohol in this! It's like...half a percent! Nothing! You know how long it would take me to get apocalyptic on this shandy-lite? Too long! I would give it a higher rating if it had more of a kick to it. As it is, I need something stronger just to put up with you people. But it's refreshing, I'll give it that. But c'mon people, can anything beat an ice cold coke on a hot summer's day? Other than beer, I mean. And Pimms. But we're talking non-alcoholic, here. This drink confuses me. Is it alcohol, or not? It clearly wants to be, but it isn't. It's trying to straddle both sides of the fence, and in the process it is getting it's trousers caught on the barbed wire and it's falling, one leg on each side of the fence, directly onto a big picket, getting its balls crushed in the process. That reminds me, Adrian made me one with crushed ice and one with blocked ice. The crushed ice one tasted more watery, presumably because the crushed ice was melting faster. So drink it with rock ice, that's good stuff. Right, where was I? Oh yeah, the lack of alcohol in this drink. What is the target audience, here? You can't give it to kids, because it's a LITTLE alcoholic, but adults will hate it too, because they need sweet sweet alcohol in order to drown out the pain of being alive. I suppose if you were recovering from a four-day bender and you hadn't slept in three days because you're E'd up to your nanas and the mere smell of alcohol makes you want to...ugh...it's got a little bit of alcohol in it! Slpeurgh...get me a lemonade with ice, stat! But seriously, I had this drink once, at the pub next to Adrian's house, and I was hung over, and it was good. I'm hung over now, too, and it's still good. But as a drink to get you wasted, it's useless. And as a post-hang-over drink, it's also useless. The only niche it fills is the post-post-hangover, y'know, where like you just got through a hangover and you are a little fuzzy but still want a nice drink. And it is. Nice. But it really needs to sort out where it's priorities lie, and I don't think it has. Okay Adrian is telling me I've written enough. Make this drink and give it a go. What are you, scared?
This drink takes about 3 mins to make, or 5 if you want it with crushed ice. It's easiest if you get everything out at one and just make the drink in one or two swift and suave moves. Alien Grey is a suave alien, and Alien girls don't like to wait around for their drinks.
A rock shandy is good with ice blocks. It's better with crushed ice. All drinks are. If you have a blender there is probably some fancy way you can do this. Without a blender the best thing is to put a heap of ice in bag, place it over a good hard solid suffice and whack it with something hard. I suggest not using a hammer (trust me), but the base of something else. Like a pint glass. Keep whacking it hard (but not too hard) and keep your strokes even and consistent and make sure you don't tear your protection.
This is what the result of even strokeage gets your. Nice crushed ice.
Open the bag of crushed ice and pour it into a glass. If you are just going with rocks, just throw them in straight.
Now fill half the glass up with sprite/lemonade. This may be tough to judge with ice in it, so either pour the soda (next step) and lemonade at the same time or you can pour it before putting the ice in. Alien Grey has an awesomely brilliant mind (yeah like how many of you can pilot a space ship across the delta delta with a hangover) and can judge half a glass to perfection, with both rocks and crushed ice in.
Fill the other half of the glass with soda water. Soda by itself is a bit too dry. Lemonade by itself is a bit too sweet, but mixed together the soda takes the edge off the lemonade and it it's neither too dry nor too sweet. Brilliant. How smart is this Alien.
Throw in 5 to 10 drops of Angostura Bitters. It looks odd going in but it all it needs is a stir. You may find yourself tempted on occasion to put the bitters in prior to adding soda water or lemonade. Trust me you don't want to do this. If you do it fizzes up massively and is a pain to get all the soda/lemonade in. Just throw in a few drops and stir. You can use a spoon or straw, but Alien Grey just prefers to use the force of his epicly strong mind which can do it just by focussing his attention. Alien Grey taught the Jedi's how to do this.
Stir well and you are ready to serve. The court is still out on the colour of this drink. It's not quite pink. Lets call it coppery ...
Serve and drink. What better way to enjoy the sun going down on a warm day with the most refreshing drink of the summer, a rock shandy. Alien Grey loves these and you should too. Done right they are tasty, refreshing, pretty much non-alcoholic and with barely a calorie in sight. Super fabulous.
1. Calista White
Drink sounds fabulous. Nice shades :-)
2. NKL
I LOVE ALIEN GREY!
Is he adverse to big hugs?
3. Alien Grey
Of course I do, who wouldn’t like big hugs?
4. matthew
An Irish Rock Shandy is half lemonade, half Orange Crush, no bitters, (alchohol free). Crushed ice is easily obtainable is you have a shmancy new fridge (like mine and NKL’s) that has a ‘crushed ice’ button on it.
5. Gordon
Gosh what a lot of hard work… not to mention some of the worst double entendres I’ve seen for quite a while.
6. Alien Grey
And by worst you mean utterly fantastic don’t you?
7. theb
I want Alien Grey as my bartender. Does he mean to be so sweet looking?
8. Alien Grey
Of course I am sweet looking. I’ll have you know I’m a considered a total stud muffin by other Grey’s on my home planet. A body this awesome doesn’t come by magic you know. I spend a lot of time working out my Alien muscles in the gym.
And doing a lot of deep space diving.
9. Calista
Rowr.
10. Saltation
If you change the lemonade to lemon cordial plus lime cordial, this is the most popular non-alcoholic summer pub-drink in Australia. “Lemon, Lime, & Bitters” — and it’s lovely, innit?
If you want something similarly refreshing but variably alcoholic, can I recommend: Sal’s Summer Libation.