So I'm used to guy cooking. Guy cooking involves throwing a lot of stuff together and solving any sort of problem with chilli.
Baking is not so easy. So for example when the instructions say "turn onto a lightly floured surface, knead lightly and roll out", and you have no flour, and are dubious about what kneading entails, you can't really resolves this with chilli.
So I called in my handy friend who knows a lot more about cooking than me, Alien Grey. He also has a ray gun.
This is not going to be a typical cooking with Alien Grey, as it was just (trying) to follow some recipes I googled. So this will be more a journey through making sweet sweet pie with Alien Grey, rather than instructions on how to do it yourself. You should be able to follow the recipe as much as Alien Grey and I did.
The recipes we will be following today are, sweet potatoes pie (sweet) and cheese and onion pie (savoury). More or less.
Start: 1pm.
Alien Grey thinks it's best to lay out all the ingredients you are about to use before launching into a project. Alien Grey may be a little to ambitious, tackling 4 pies, of two different types, for the first time.
Thow a bunch (yes sweet potatoes don't grow in bunches, but in this case, bunch is alien for 5) of sweet potatoes in a pot. Alien Grey likes to use the kumara sweet potatoes from New Zealand. Because he has New Zealand alien friends and they are rather nice.
Once the sweet potatoes are boiled, peel (um this hurts when hot so run under cold water first) and mash mash mash. Boy does mashing involve a lot of elbow work. No one warned me.
Look I know it doesn't look appetising but, at least it's getting easier to mash. Alien-G added some nutmeg and cinnamon. Will be interesting to see how it tastes ...
Since the original smart plan of buying totally pre-made pie bases didn't quite happen as planned, we used to some Sainsbury's Shortcrust Pastry Mix. Boy was this hard work. Also trying to get the timing of making the pie shell and the pie filling at the same time, rather tough.
Gack, rolling pastry into a circle is not so easy
Right almost sort of there. Most of the cake tin (Alien G couldn't find pie tins) is covered in dough.
So the recipe says whisk the eggs and milk. I'm sure this is sort of more like blending this, but I got this cocktail mixer like 4 years ago and have only used it once and Alien Grey has no whisk.
Make yourself a sloe gin and slim line tonic (this is not technically in the recipe)
Getting read to pour the mix (thats pie mix not cocktail mix) into the (shabby) pie bases.
Ready, steady, (to) bake
Put the pies in the oven carefully. Those Alien hands can handle the heat from the sun, but your puny human hands can't
Set the microwave timer so you can gowatch tvmake the savoury pie. DO NOT TRY MICROWAVE SOMETHING half way through, and ruin the timer count down.
Onto the second pie. Allie-Gee has decided to throw some shallots into the mix. The recipe doesn't call for this, but the first time Allie-Gee had shallots cooked for him, (about 3 years ago now) they came out rather nice, so why not. The main of the dish is still lots of onion so as a supplement how wrong can this go (ask me tomorrow)
Hard work deserves another drink. Like the shallots this isn't in the recipe, but is probably a good experiment.
Boil the shallot-onions for 5 mins. Alien Grey has also then sautéed and caramelised them for a bit with a bit of butter as suggested in one of the comments on the recipe site.
Grate some cheese. Alien Grey has been brave and gone for a double cheesy peasy deal, and put both Red Leicester and cheddar into the mix. Adventurous all around.
Call me Sir Mixalot, Alien of the universe.
Mix the onions, egg and cheese together. Getting adventurous, Alien Gray has thrown some sun dried tomatoes in to. This alien knows how to break the mold (literally, when making the pie crusts, several times)
Way hey, getting there. Two pie mixes here. Maybe I should have tried to just do it all in one. Also at this point Allie-Gee realises we don't have pie tops. No fear we have an extra bag of pie mix. Let roll (thinly)
Don't forget to cut some vents into the pie tops (I have no idea why). Also when cutting vents don't cut too deeply and cut into the pie bases. I'm sure Alien Grey got too enthusiastic and did so.
Use the left over egg (luckily I left a smattering over). Note if you do this with your fingers, it will leave the pattern you swirl baked in after.
Learning from the first pies, Alien Grey arranges these ones to overlap less.
Since we are double shelving Alien Grey switches pie shelves half way through baking for great consistency.
Wow look at that. It's an pie fiesta. Overly ambitious maybe. But 4 pies for a first time job. Alien Gray pwns other pie making aliens.
It might be easier to ask, what didn't get used. Alien Grey used 5 packs of pastry mix. Thta's near on 2½ kilos. That's a lot of pastry mix.and two pots
and 7 bowls ... (yes 7)
5 forks ... 3 knives ... two ladle like objects ... one baby coctail blender ... one drainer ...one pair of scales ... 7 eggs (one broke, and not in the bowl) ... one greater grater ... 1L of slim line tonic (not in the pies) ... 2 ice trays ... nutmeg cineman ... and that's all I can see ontop ...
End: 6pm.
1. Jack
You’re a much better baker than me. The one and only time I ever tried to make pie I couldn’t resist cutting the vents in the top so they spelt ‘TWAT’, forgetting that it was intended as a present for my mother.
2. annie
I think the vents are for the, er, steam.
Wow, hats off to you and your little alien helper. Did they like the pies?
3. Alien Grey
Pies went down a storm (or is that treat). Everyone loved them.
I’m thinking of getting a cape to go with my ickle alien cloak and calling myself “Pieman”
4. Gordon
BRAVO little Alien!
Yes the vents are to let out the steam (as the water in the veg cooks out and creates the steam).
No I’ve never baked a pie (nor blind baked a pie base) but I know the theory… mainly because my darling wife watches UK Food ENDLESSLY!!
5. stroppycow
They look good.
6. D
Jack has conveniently forgotten the time she baked lemon curd tarlettes and they bonded at the atomic level to the bake trays in blatant defiance of the known properties of Teflon.
Your pies Adrian definitely look home baked, I trust the effort was appreciated.
7. The B
They look, um, interesting. Ahem, interestingly authentic, I mean. What did they taste like? The proof of the pie… etc
8. matthew
Mmmm… Pie…
It’s not ‘the proof of the pie’, it’s ‘the proof of the pudding’. Allegedly.
They do look tasty though. I don’t think I’ve ever had a sweet potato pie.
9. Alien Grey
Well the sweet potato pie was a pudding …
They tasted super fabulous. The effort was really appreciated. Every one was amazed. I like amazed.
10. Calista
They look delicious! Top points for the crust, as it can be rather finicky :-) I am also quite impressed that you made four of them - and that you have a rolling pin. Very impressed.
11. jen
you need practice crimping your edges, but those do look delish. I applaud the mixing of cheeses.
12. Destructor
Looks pretty good. I don’t think this is a proper Alien Grey entry unless I review them.
13. Alien Grey
Right, I’ll make you pie.
Although this wasn’t really me showing a recipe, as much as a VH1-Behind the Music PIE.
14. Destructor
Yay! I love pie.
I guess you’re right. Still it was very amusing and informative.
15. emchi
A pie worthy of Weeble and Bob… Pie Pie Pie Pie Pie… When come back… etc etc :o)
16. The B
Oh come on Andrew, I KNOW it’s officially the proof of the pudding is in the eating but have some imagination - at least one of them wasn’t a pudding, after all. The point of the saying is the same whether pudding or pie - the alteration was deliberate. It’s all very well posing so-called edibles with snappily dressed aliens but it’s what they TASTE like that matters.
17. Adrian
Andrew?
You’re barred!
Harrrump. Sulks.
18. The B
oops! I meant Matthew - where did Andrew come from? Too busy have a rant to name check. Sorry! Didn’t mean you, Adrian.
19. Matt
It’s been too long since the last Cooking With Alien Grey.
Also - Your cookies don’t appear to be working? Either that or my FF3B5 is knackered.