I said when I posted this picture that I wasn't just being sleazy, but that I took it so I could tell the story.
Well truth be told, I wasn't being sleazy, but I like lingerie. No not in that way, I just like buying it for girls. So I didn’t quite take the picture to tell a story but it did remind me of a story I have to tell.
The story is about the first time I bought lingerie. I was in Paris. It was the end of my 3½ month backpacking holiday between varsity and the real world. I wanted to buy something for my ex (Look it was an on and off thing and we did subsequently (subsequently being 8 months later) get back together for the third time (which lasted 3 more months)). Also I have a reputation / history of buying clothes and lingerie for girls I'm not dating. Some guys buy flowers I hear.
Anyway, I was in Paris, and wanted to buy something. Although now, you get fantastic lingerie from all over the world, there is something about "French Lingerie" that seems fancier. Perhaps it is because the word itself is French. Also back then I knew less about lingerie.
I had spied a few places selling lingerie around Paris on my way to visit Jim Morrison's grave (hey I was 22). As I wondered around the city, I found a place that looked quite nice from the outside. This is not the place in the picture mentioned above, but was on a smaller quieter road. I walked passed the place about 30 or 40 times (on the other side of the road) before I got the guts to approach it.
I walked up to the place and walked passed it. Eventually I managed to walk into the shop. I had now worked myself up into a blind panic about going into a lingerie shop for the first time, and was in a cold sweat. A nice salesperson approached me and said something to me in French.
I screamed "It's not for me, it's for a girl" and ran away.
Ok not really, but that was what was running through my head. I kind of stared at the women in vague hopelessness and waited for the ground to open me and swallow me whole. Fortunately, people working in lingerie shops are used to hopeless men, as I think that is a good portion of their business. Unfortunately she only spoke about a dozen more words of English than I spoke of French, and I spoke about 2 words of French (Oui and Merci).
Now 36D might be pretty universal in any language, but when you don't know what "What is her cup size" in French, you don't know when to say it. Have you ever tried to indicate you would like to buy a bra, stockings and suspenders buy using hand gestures? Add to this the latent panicking about buying lingerie and being relatively clueless as I want to buy. Things were not going well.
At this point, another customer who had entered the shop a few minutes after I did, realized what was going on. She was a rather attractive women, a few years older than me, but who also spoke English. She stepped in and provided a translation service. At this point, the situation was so entirely ridiculous that I calmed down and it was much easier at that point.
I walked out with two very nice bras, a g-string & briefs and some very classy stockings and suspenders. I had bought "French Lingerie" and survived.
Since then I have found it far easier to buy lingerie. Although there is still some panic gene that gets activated when browsing through a set of frilly virtually not existing items on a rail of sexy things, that I feel I shouldn't really be touching. Got bless online shopping.
I've never bought French lingerie again. Although that’s more by chance rather than design or choice.
1. Green Fairy
You stood in a lingerie shop and waited for something to swallow your what?
2. Adrian
Ahem. Corrected. For those who didn’t see the typo, the line originally read
“… and waited for the ground to open me and swallow me hole.”
3. Gordon
LOL
What you really need to do is explain WHY you enjoy buying frilly stuff. Now, and maybe I’m projecting here, but if you ain’t buying it for a girlfriend or partner isn’t it a little pervy? ;-)
BTW, tell me your bags got checked when you left France… heh “no no, they’re for a friend… honest!!”
4. Karen
Did the recipient actually accept the gift, this time?
5. annie
LOL indeed. Seeing a whole new side to you Adrian. You’re either very brave, or a lunatic.
6. Adrian
Karen, yes she did. It’s only the one case on Uborka where the gift wasn’t accepted.
Annie, it’s definitely not bravery.
7. Princes of Darkness
Ooooh, Chantal Thomass. The Vicky’s Secret catalogues always have some of her things and I drool and sigh and pout because the largest size available [here, at least] is a C cup. I haven’t been a C cup since my very early teens, but I guess anything larger than that is just gross, by French standards?
8. Adrian
I’m sure you get large breasted French girls. You’ll also note in that story I bought a 36D bra …
9. bezwick
I have to ask, what happened to you that made you think of this story? And I love your lingerie stories. Especially when you wanted my Sonia to wear lingerie that you had bought for Uborka. However sexy it was, it would not look sexy to me knowing that you had bought it.
10. Adrian
See the first line. I walked passed a lingerie shop in Paris and took photos of it when I was there at the end of November.
I was going to say, that I didn’t buy it for Sonia and was only offering it to her as I didn’t know what to do with it. But I also offered it to and upset Jose (yeah I know, offering clothes you bought for another girl to your girlfriend dumb move) which shows whilst I might not be intentionally insensitive, I’m sufficiently clueless that my exposure to the general public and women especially should be limited by act of law (or god).
11. razorhead
You’ve posted some of the clobber you wear on Le Weekend before. I don’t believe they’re not for you. Pictures.
12. Adrian
For the umpteenth time, I DO NOT WEAR WOMEN’S CLOTHING. Ok I’ve worn women’s clothing 3 times, but there were reasons for that.
1987Final year primary school Aged 12 For some reasons I was a cheerleader for some swimming competition between all the houses (you all had different competing houses at school right) and we decided it would be really funny if the girls and the guys switched uniforms (which required a lot of people to run between bathroom carrying the clothes relay style to someone half way between). 1990Craig’s 16th Birthday Party Aged 15 Craig had a ‘turnaround party’ wear girls had to come as guys and vica versa. I worse a red dress I borrowed from my mom. 1999Glam Rock Party Aged 24 Friends of mine had a glam rock party. Glam rock is very androgynous anyway, and after much searching in Camden Town I ended up buying the clobber you can see in the photos. From the girls section. You just don’t get glam clothes in the guys sections. Not my fault.
But I have never worn ladies undewear. Well except fishnets, and that was just the once. Ok twice. Ok a few times. But fishnets are more like socks than actual underwear.
13. Destructor
So you’re a 36D, huh? You don’t look it.
14. Green Fairy
There’s a little too much protesting going on here if you ask me.
15. grumpyoldman
I’m suprised yo haven’t discovered Figleaves. A great site for buying lenerie with out that embarressment factor.
16. Adrian
I know of Figleaves, but I find better stuff on other sites. Agent Provocateur and Coco de Mer being better. Victoria Secretes isn’t all that bad either when in the US.
Just no a big fan of Figleaves.
And I have no one to buy for, so all a bit academic.
17. the afore mentioned 'ex'
wow, after so many years you even remember what bra size you bought. To satisfy my curiosity, I’ve just checked, and you’re right. They were 36d’s. You’re good!
Just for the record in case anyone is interested, as you can tell, I still have these first time lingerie buys. The suspenders are great ;-) It was the first time I recieved lingerie from a boy. blush
However, I can’t recall the briefs. Maybe the werent as memorable as the suspenders or perhaps they were for someone else!? :-) Hm.