I must apologise for this post. Really I must because I know in the cold light of day it is probably quite pathetic. However its 2:36am, and I'm rather quite drunk, on the back of quite a difficult week (emotionally). On gin as well and we all know about gin. I'll apologise especially to the one person in particular who hopefully will just ignore this.
You know it's really hard being a bloke. Or perhaps it's just hard being me, but I would like to hope that most blokes struggle with this kind of shit too.
S1, call the girl. After a 2 hour chat in the pub, I thought that was a good sign. You have no idea how tough it was to ask for your phone number but I did. I assumed giving to me was a good sign. The 2 hour chat we had on the phone also seemed like a good sign. It wasn't easy picking up the phone to call you know. Be nice if you could return a call since then. Or at least be honest and say you aren't interested.
S2, be open and honest. Works far better in the movies than real life. Which is to be expected as life is not a movie. It's just so much more difficult to be articulate in real life where the movies always seem to know what to say. I wish I could say everything I wanted to, but what I said was tough enough and as far as I can see made things worse. Even this is probably not a good idea. You have no idea how tough it is to talk about your feelings. Guys aren't meant to you know.
S3, talk to the girl. You really really really have no idea how tough it was to walk up, through a group of all your friends and sit down next to you and try to talk to you. Honestly you have no idea how much it took for me to do that. Thanks for not being rude, but your one words answers to my attempts to strike a conversation were hint enough. Not your fault, but I wish you knew what it took for me to take those 5 steps and sit down next to you.
I wish I could blame you all I really do. But I can't. It took more for me attempt the above than you will never know. But it's not your fault. You see the one recurring thread through all three stikes, is
"I wasn't good enough for you"
And that’s not your fault, it's mine.
Once again I apologise for this post. But somethings, sometimes, just need to be written down to get them out of my head.
[CLoD‡ Addendum] - The above is 3 different events, with 3 different people on 3 different weekends. The way it was written I can see how it does appear to be the same person. It's not. In a way if it was it would be better. This way it's more of a trend.
‡CLOD - Cold Light of Day.
1. pixeldiva
Sweetie, you’ve got it the wrong way round.
She wasn’t good enough for you.
2. matthew
Exactly dude. You’re a top bloke, and any girl who blows you off or whatever based on first impressions has no idea what she’s missing, and if she did she would be the one doing all the trying.
3. graybo
Oh arses, that’s pants. As someone who had those experiences more than once (grayblog wasn’t nicknamed "graybo’s house of pain" for nothing), my only advice is to dust yourself off and get back on the horse. But for now, bumhats!
4. Emchi
It really wasn’t you at all. Don’t think that. Think of it this way, if you were nervous in asking and nervous in phoning then it probably wasn’t right. If you feel comfortable phoning someone or asking for their number then it was right. She wasn’t good enough for you, it won’t help you but don’t beat yourself up. You’re a really nice guy, if she couldn’t see that then it really is her loss.
5. pixeldiva
I guessed it was three different girls, and my comment still stands.
6. Gordon
Cue “plenty more fish in the sea” comments.
Although I’ll stand by any previous comments I’ve made on this topic - you DO have to talk to them, be honest (not necessarily completely open on a first date or anything) and as graybo says you gotta get back on the horse.
Cue “chin up old chap” comments.
7. Nuge
“Why do we fall?” - Thomas Wayne
8. Adrian
“So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.”
Yeah, I saw Batman too. Well not actually a man dressed as bat, but the movie.
However like I said, life isn’t like movies.
9. Matthew
Yes, but the lesson still stands, and is relevant outside of ‘the movies’. We have to fall to learn how not to. We have to make mistakes to learn not to make them. We have to be beaten down to learn how to deal with it. Anyone who never falls or makes mistakes is an idiot, as they haven’t learned anything.
Life isn’t like the movies, but the movies are like life. Otherwise they wouldn’t make any sense.
If you learned anything from these experiences (other than ‘oh god I’m like, so depressed’, or ‘ I wasn’t good enough for you) then maybe you can take something positive out of them.
Maybe they were all lesbians. Did you think of that? EH?!?!
10. Destructor
All bad events, but on the plus side: You weren’t at Glastonbury.
11. Matthew
How could not being at Glastonbury ever possibly be considered a plus?!?! I mean, even if you nearly drowned in the rain and got struck by lightning and covered in creamy mud and had a bad trip and lost your clothes and your phone and your mates and your sanity it would still be the bestest thing ever.
You’re mad you are. MAD I tell thee.
12. Destructor
Dude, I’m trying to cheer him up. Just go with it.
On the plus side: You still have legs.
13. Matthew
Ah, I see! Buggered it up there din’t I.
On the plus side: Legs, and also arms. But more importantly, opposable thumbs. Handy for hitting the space bar, hitching lifts, and other delightful thumb-related activities.
Fuck ALL girls, yeah? FUCK them all to hell (no offence ladies). Exception NKL. (:-P)
And at least you weren’t at Glastonbury, imagine how horrible that would’ve been. Or T in the Park, that would have been disgustingly horribly awful. I watched 5 minutes of it on tv and as soon as Mario started err… ‘dancing’, I nearly shat meself laughing and had to turn it off. But that’s besides the point.