Air hostesses are a bit like strippers. Well at least in business class they are, in economy they are more like dominatrices.
Strippers are paid to be friendly. They sit on your lap. They have a bit of chat. They make you feel good about yourself. Sure it's completely superficial, but you still feel good about yourself having a pretty lady appear interested in you.
Same essential job an air hostess in business class is required. Because if you feel good about yourself, you enjoy the flight and if you enjoy the flight you'll come back again. Or some such.
On the flight to Amsterdam, after packing my stuff in the overhead, and taking off my jacket, I turned to the air hostess (Georgina or something) and asked "Is the flight full". Within a few minutes she was chatting away, asking me about my glasses and well ... flirting. (Yeah I know, hard to believe. I'm not quite sure I believe it)
Then she says how tired she is being an early flight and all, and how I might need to slap her to keep her awake. Then she slaps herself gently across the cheek, cocks her head and smiles coyly at me.
Resisting the urge to whip out a twenty and slip it in her knickers, I think I mustered a "I think they might put me in restraints for that", and suggested a shot of espresso instead.
Just like strippers they are.
And she had a cute bum.
Side Note: I'm in no way advocating the slapping of girls as a flirting technique or to get sexual gratification or what not, I'm just saying ... Oh you had to be there, it was flirty dammit.
1. Matthew
Just like strippers, apart from the taking-off-of-clothes bit. I can imagine you enjoying yourself immensely if you travelled with Hootersair though, the hostesses are a bit more like strippers than on normal airlines, even in business class.
Just make sure you know the difference between ‘good touch’ and ‘bad touch’. I’m sure you do.
2. badly dubbed boy
The main difference, of course, being that air hostesses don’t get extra money the more they flirt with you. So if they are flirting with you, the chances are they see you as more than just a big $50 bill.
3. Coop
Bloody lucky bastard. Adrian flies business class and gets a cute air stewardessflirting with him. Same flight but i’m stuck in the econoomy class with the dominatrices. Just not fair.
“Can I get a coffee please” “No - Seat belt light is on”
Whats that got to do with it. And did she come back? No.
4. Gordon
I quite like sitting in economy…
5. Destructor
So: Strippers are nice to you in order to get you to give them more money. Flight attendants are just nice to you. So ‘just like strippers’ is not only kind of wrong, but also kind of (wait for it!) offensive.
6. Adrian
Both are nice to you because they get paid to be nice to you.
7. Destructor
So waiters are just like strippers, then. Salespeople, PR agents, receptionists, prostitutes, hairdressers, just like strippers they are.
OR in fact not just like them at all and totally different as strippers are paid to strip and air hostesses are paid to host and the tiny amount of overlap between them (‘being nice’) is probably just a function of the hiring process, and does not make one just like the other.
8. Princess of Darkness
Sooooo, if econo are dominatrices and business are strippers - what are the first class stewardesses like? Something to explore further…
9. Adrian
You tell me.
EconomySit down sir. BuisnessWhat drink would you like sir? FirstHow would you like your eggs in the morning, Mr Sevitz?
10. Destructor
In the interests of not bringing you down in your current mood, I will refrain from repeating the thoughts of my friend Simone, an air hostess, on hearing your little theory.
11. Adrian
Oh no, please do tell. I would love to hear her thoughts. Really.
And just to point out this is all fairly tongue in cheek. I’m just pointing to similarities in service industries where people get paid to make you feel good about yourself. Or maybe just the particular experience I listed above made me think of the strip joint.
12. matthew
What’s ‘buisness’ class?
13. Adrian
It’s a zone where the air hostesses are friendly, the curtain is behind you not in front of you and you get real cutlery.
14. matthew
Oh you mean business class. Spellcheck? No? Oh ok then.
I get confused now when you get real cutlery on a plane (oh and on Emirates you get real cutlery in economy too), didn’t they just search me for any kind of metal object? Didn’t they just take an emery board off my travelling companion (to looks of disbelief)? And now they have given me a knife. Err… ok. Cheers.
15. bazza
Actually hairdressers, wait staff and strippers are more similiar in that they work later hours often end the night shift with a hand full of cash and a mad desire to get pissed as they dont work til mid day at the earliest the next day.
Have you ever been out with any of the above? They are mad.
Air hostess’ are just along for the ride.