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Fri 4:30pm CET

Depart Amsterdam Schiphol

Fri 4:40pm

Arrive London Gatwick.

Fri 5:40pm

60 minutes of intense physio on my calf. Beg thanks of awesome physio who came in specially to do me the favour at the last minute

Fri 8:30pm

Meet James/Nat/Dewi for drink, pizza express and request Sevitz abuse (they missed me ... I think).

Sat 9:00am

Try take hot bath with muscle relaxant. Realise forgot to turn the hot water on. Panic. Turn on the hot water, the booster. Pray.

Sat 10:45am

Eek enough hot water for one hot bath.

Sat 11:15am

Leave for Craig (north London). Fight traffic the whole way.

Sat 12:15pm

Arrive Craig, got for lunch at new deli. Realise only two non Yids in the place are the waitresses. Also only two people unmarried and with no kids. (Well aside from Craig and myself). Muse about it.

Sat 1:30pm

Depart for Manchester

Sat 4:30pm

Get Lost

Sat 5:00pm

Find hotel. Watch ManU loose the FA cup on penalties. Chuckle.

Sat 6:30pm

Go for lovely dinner with Lori and Topper.

Sat 9:00pm

Have a few drinks. Stare at girls exceptionally large cleavage in corset. Comment on the mullets.

Sat 9:30pm

Change bars to one close to the hotel

Sat 10:00pm

See girl who is the splitting image of Jose at the bar. Go get drinks. Not Jose, but identical younger version. Younger Jose and bloke order cocktail and 11 different shooters. Confuses waiter. Cue much waiting for drinks

Sat 10:30pm

Head back to hotel. Head to bed. Try sleep.

Sun 1:00am

Couple next door come home and start arguing loudly. Not in English. I hit the walk to make them shut up. Hit the wrong wall and hurt my hand. Craig throws half empty coke bottle at the right wall. Narrowly missing the mirror. Couple carry on arguing in loud high pitched fast dialect.

Sun 1:15am

Couple still arguing. Phone reception and complain.

Sun 1:25am

Couple start arguing again. I despair. I just want to sleep.

Sun 1:35am

Craig yells "Shut Up, wont you just shut up, shut up SHUT UP!", about 9 times

Sun 1:45am

Another phone call to reception (by Craig). Tell them to sort it out now.

Sun 1:50am

Couple shuts up.

Sun 2:00am

Craig starts snoring. I say "I'm cursed", Craig agrees and rolls over. Stops snoring

Sun 6:45am

Weird dream (really weird, boats being flooded and strange stuff) ends up with me snogging cute girl. About 4th best snog ever (even though it was a just a dream).

Sun 7:00am

Wake up. Try to go back to sleep and find cute girl to snog, no avail.

Sun 8:00am

Breakfast. 2 slices of toast. With Marmite.

Sun 8:30am

Walk passed three girls who look like they are still out from the night before (party clothes, tits hanging out, no jackets, looking round, looking very hungover still drunk). Taxi arrives as we walk outside. Taxi driver checks to see if I am Adrian (taxi booked in my name). I say I am and that we're just putting our bags in my car (20 feet away). Come back to taxi and the 3 girls wenches have got in OUR fucking cab. The same cab who checked my name before he would let US get in it. Cab driver says another cab is on the way and he is taking the three girls with their tits hanging out looking like the rough end of a rough thing. I stair incredulously.

Sun 8:40am

Sevitz throws a hissy fit

Sun 8:50am

Craig phones taxi company and complains. Taxi company asks for a description of tosshead driver. Confirms that he is a knob.

Sun 9:00am

Taxi arrives

Sun 9:30am

Start warm up. Comment about cute girl near us in the crowd

Sun 10:30am

Wave 3, race starts. Loose Craig around 1.5km mark. See cute girls ass and follow it till I loose her at the 6km mark. Realise I have just done 6km in 30mins. This is faster than my fastest pace ever. Never let it be said that perving did no good.

Sun 11:22am

Am the 3916 person to cross the finish line after 51 minutes and 38 seconds. New personal best. My target was 55 mins. I thought I would be lucky if I beat my last time with Amsterdam disrupting my training and my injury. Shows how much is in the head.

Sun 11:33am

Craig is the 10969 person over the finishing line after 1 hour 3 minutes and 58 seconds. Not bad for someone who did no training, and hurt his hamstring. Craig's only disappointment is he can't complain as much after doing better than expected.

Sun 12:30pm

Head back to London

Sun 2:30pm

Stop for petrol and coffee

Sun 2:50pm

Stop for petrol having forgot at the last station after getting the coffee. Having to coast down hills the tank is so empty. Put 63 litres in a 60 litre tank.

Sun 4:00pm

Stop for GBK. Eat the biggest burger ever. Feel bloated till bed time.

Sun 6:00pm

Get home. Chill. Watch a lot of tv. Move very little.

Mon 6:15am

Taxi to London Heathrow

Mon 7:45am

Depart for Amsterdam

Mon 10:00am CET

Arrive Amsterdam Schiphol

Don't you miss diary blogs?

A lot of travelling around but just 10kms that counted. I hurt like a bitch, but am proud of myself for doing better than I ever thought possible. Thanks to Craig for being conned into running with me 2 weeks before and doing it anyway with no training.

Fuck me motherfucker. 52 fucking minutes 28 seconds. Who's your daddy.