Alien Grey has been accused of being a bit anal in the past. Just because he likes to lay out everything in preparation and get some handy bowls ready for the chopped vegetables, is no reason to call him names. He has a big knife and a ray gun.

Chop the onion, peppers, mushrooms and spring onions into slices about 3-5mm thick as shown. Dice the carrots. Leave the mange tout (a name Alien Grey finds very amusing) and baby corn whole. The length of the pepper and onion slices should be about the same as the baby corn.

Take a clove or garlic and use a reverse polarised force field to smash it open. Failing that a good smack with a glass will do.

Chop off all the ends of the garlic bits. Alien Grey is not sure if they are also called cloves. Don't worry to much about all the clove wrappings on the garlic bits, Alien Grey has a high tech method of removing them.

When Alien Greys transfabulator is broken, he uses a glass and some kitchen towel. Place the kitchen towel on top of the garlic and give each bit a good smack. The garlic should then just pretty much fall out of the clove and garlic wrappings around it. Put the garlic in the bowl with the peppers.

Since Alien Grey has been called "The Chubbster" by some of his alien buddies, he is trying to loose a bit of the "spare spaceship tire" around his midriff. Here is his super duper trick for a healthy stir fry. Don’t use oil. Use Soya sauce instead. Tastes great, and far less fattening than oil. Throw some Soya sauce in the bottom of the work. Throw the onions on top of it, and some dried basil over that. Give it a good few stirs to mix it all up, then turn on the heat (to about two thirds). If you turn on the heat before doing all of this the Soya evaporates quickly and it all sticks to the pan in a nasty mess. Alien Grey hates scrubbing woks. Stir the onions regularly for about 4-8 minutes till the onions start to get nice and soft.

Chop some fresh coriander vigorously. Get some fine, and some not so fine. No special method here, just chop away.

Throw all the rest of the vegetables (including the garlic and coriander) except the bean sprouts in the wok. Keep stirring. The water from the vegetables will provide enough liquid themselves to stirfry in, and you don't need to add any oil. Stir for about another 8 minutes until the vegetables start getting soft. If you are using raw prawns, beef or chicken, you want to add it about 4 minutes into this step.

Add the Chow Mein sauce. If you like it really saucy use two bottles, but you can easily get away with just one. Alien Grey used two and it was probably too much. If you want a kick to your Chow Mein, add a dash of chilli sauce now too. Not too much mind you.

Alien Grey opens some bamboo shoots. Taste dull on their own but great in the Chow Mein. For additional variety throw some water chestnuts in too.

When the sauce starts to bubble a bit and the vegetables are getting really chow mein'ed in, throw the bamboo shoots in. Alien Grey could only get cooked prawns (organic king sized) which is why he has waited till near the end to throw them in.

Keep stirring the wok and make sure that everything is well mixed in. Let some of the sauce reduce a bit and when the vegetables are soft, the sauce is bubbling but stirred in, and the prawns are hot, you're ready to serve.

Alien Grey knows he has made enough for 5 people, which is why he skips the noodles which aren't so healthy and dishes up to large plates. A dash too much chilli, but tasty none the less.