As I've done before, give me the most interesting text message in your inbox on your phone. [Look it beats my pseudo-narcissistic post on weight gain/loss which I will inflict you all with sometime this week]
I'll start ...
Perhaps you should get a few extra pairs of shoes to litter about the place and then it'll be just like old times!
1. pix
Fat angry wasp on a crowded tube: 101 public masks for instinctive self-preservation & abject fear. Pant changingly entertaining, and that’s just the shoes.
2. Jane
(I’m almost embarrassed I’ve kept that one. I didnt recognize the sender’s #, & think it was a mis-send.)
3. Karen
“I want to hold you tight in my arms under this blue sky, and tell you secrets and touch your skin until the sun descends over the horizon. Kiss me.”
4. shift+e
” [no msg, phone taken at gunpoint] :-(
5. Green Fairy
Infuriating shitbag.
6. Chris
“I hate that! It makes me want to go up and say ‘You don’t get it! You don’t really understand why someone as uncool as Bill Murray can be cool!”
7. Brother Jon
“Your liver etc. is still here. Are you coming for lunch?”
8. Stuart
How’s this for a single text:
“Alright bud. Got bad news :( been at eventful week had to lend tim £300 for a car so am broke for couple of weeks. Forgot it was mum’s bday aswell today. Iceland being Monkey’s but was gonna travel back early sunday morning so not prob. Gonna have to say cant make it bud due to abnormal loss of money this week. Sorry. Need your address mate. Have a good one bud. See you before you go”
With the subtext of ‘Can’t afford to come due to phone bill’.
9. jen
“the tango, she is sad that you are going away on a train.”
10. greenhamster
“My WORST FEARS will be REALISED? You sound confident. Is it just that the pub is packed, or is everyone I ever loved dead in a bloody heap?”
-Stu, on hearing the news that the AFL final inconsiderately clashed with his party.
11. Dani
Ninjas are mammals.
I love drunken 3am text messages.
12. Hilary (actually Moira)
Mom - help. There is a moth in my room. (daughter in London, mother in Melbourne.
13. Lori
“Where are you? Have you eaten? Are you coming to Film Night? When will you be back? Why aren’t you answering your phone? Eh? Moo. Oink.”
14. nrgza
“…the tide that went and never came back, is on my mind tonight. Cos it’s a small town and it misses you a lot” You at home being an aunt?
15. Gordon
“V.comfy. try them out later. had lots of wine!”
16. Katherine
我还没决定。又懒惰又惭愧。 Translation: I still haven’t decided. Have laziness also have guilt.
17. Adrian
I like the way we need a whole sentence to describe that in English, but only two words in Chinese.
18. Gnome
Very good. Just missed two trains. Cannot belive i let you talk me into removing my pants and i’ve been to a meeting without them! I think i’m more surprised at how turned on I am.
19. annie
N asked what happens if someone gives your willy a Chinese burn
20. Morgan
Miaow.
[Followed by:]
Woof.
[Followed by:]
Like my impression of a dog trying to learn a foreign language?
21. JP
“Dan say napkin is bloofy but iss clealry not”
Guess who?
:)
22. Karen
Another one:
“Am at Ayrton Senna memorial at Imola. Left him Autocar open at Monaco GP report to read.”
23. Gnome
Lots none specific. I guess seeing how much pain i could take before it stopped becoming a turn on. Being truly dominated that kind of thing. Being told what to do is more of a turn on than first thought.
24. chick
oh very bad. bad in the best way you little horney slut.
25. Daisy
Hi just finished a lovely meal in Ponderosa, QR34 each for all u can eat and drink. We’re all feeling full. M passed his AS photography - went to Aladdins Kingdom them park 2day - alls well.