Most coding work has three distinct phases. Big work projects however disguise these phases by spreading the load and the phases over different people and it's not always that apparent. Personal coding and web development however does the opposite and the phases become very obvious and apparent.
These phases can be called, Phase 1, Phase 2 and Phase 3. However this isn't really all that enlightening so they can be described as below
- The Poking Phase
- The Obsessive Phase
- The Suicide Phase
The poking phase is before you have actually started. It's the bit where you are just toying with an idea. You fool around with some images and some code. You don't really know what you are going to do. It's a bit like rolling a good whiskey around your tongue to get the taste of it. You poke at it every now and then, but otherwise you go on with your normal life.
The obsessive phase is when you get a hold of 'the idea' and wont let go. A bit like a bulldog. This is called the obsessive phase as your friends and partner start calling you 'a bit obsessive' in a way that means you are acting strange. In your partners case this translates to 'not showing me enough attention'. During the phase you may forget to eat, get dressed and sleep. People during this phase are known not to leave the house for several days which is probably just as well as you tend to start to smell a bit. Cold pizza seems perfectly normal, even after several days. If you don't have cleaner the house starts to resemble a land fill. You spend hours doing small bits of code for parts of the site barely anyone looks at. You try explain to people that 'you have to get it just right'. No one understands you. You parents wish you would have shown this devotion to your school work. Your boss wishes you would show this devotion just for one day. You forget your own name.
The suicide phase is a bit like when a junkie comes off a high. It's nasty. You realise you are suffering from sleep and nutrition deprivation. You hate the site and everything you have just been slaving over. You are quite happy to delete everything even though you have been working 21 hours a day on it. You don't care. You never want to see it again. You consider killing yourself as a way to stop dreaming about code. You hate yourself. Your friends have stopped speaking to you. You consider having a nervous breakdown but you are not sure anyone would notice. You think about making a graph instead.
And that my friends is personal coding. You never think anything will take longer than a few hours. Nobody thinks anything is as cool as you do. No one cares what you did with an array at 3:12 in the morning. Your cleaner has quit in disgust. You do however have a funky new site. It takes about 2 years of recovery (some might call it rehab) before you start 'poking' again. This can only lead to trouble.
you may also notice that your intensity can well exceed 100% and can fall below 0%. This may not seem possible, but if you have coded you will understand. It's a bit like the universe can borrow energy from nothing in quantum dynamics, but thats for another time.
Now I'm off to delete my site as I never want to see it again. (Only joking) (Not really I'm going to delete it) (Really he is joking) (No I am not dammit) (Seriously kids he is just playing with you) (No I'm not, I'm going to delete it, and you can't stop me) (I've changed your passwords) (Dammit!)
1. Lori
Have you ever seen A Fish Called Wanda? You know Jamie Lee Curtis’ character gets all hot when she hears a man talking in a foreign language? Well, that’s like me when attractive men talk ‘geek’ in front of me. Was in a bar with three blokes the other week and I hadn’t a clue what they were talking about but it was just as well the seating was a rather nice unstainable leather. I think I’ll save this post under pr0n for future reference ;)
2. Sara
You still remind me of GPF Comics. When the group of them had to go to Code-A-Holics anonymous, because they would code at work, and at home for fun.
3. zed
how many webcams do you have or does it move around the flat with you ?
just a suicidal observation.
4. Adrian
Actually I have two webcams. One that sits in my laptop bag that I got for free and is pretty crappy. And the other that currently sits at home and moves around as I feel fit.
I have also now enabled comments directly on the webcam page …
5. Chris
Adrian - you are so right. Fortunately, I managed to get blogmeet.co.uk pretty much set up and running within phase 2, so it’s not going to end up like idontgetit.org, where I just about got the user authentication system written and then lost interest.
Lori - Assuming you’re talking about last thursday, I’m now terrified.
6. Adrian
Lori, you horney little devil you.
7. Destructor
Laugh!
Best post ever! Love the graph.
Lori, don’t ever come to my work, it’s geekspeak city.
Jose: My sympathies.
:)
8. Jose
Cheers Dan, I have definitely been suffering from a lack of attention. Also I am a technological idiot and just don’t “get” how coding can possibly be more compelling than eating and sleeping. Heartily relieved it all seems to be coming to an end!
9. Chicken
Jonsie, the fact that you made a graph to illustrate your techosavy tendencies only makes me love ya more. Now step away from your computer - and get some fresh air.
10. razorhead
I’m sure the suicide phase is longer than that though, and not just for personal coding.
11. Adrian
The suicide phase is normally followed by the ‘disinterested’ phase, but I didn’t put that in the graph because I lost interest.
12. Destructor
I was always under the impression that the ‘Suicide Phase’ was often followed by the ‘Dead Phase’.
13. Adrian
You don’t necessarily have to kill yourself during the suicide phase. You just want to. A lot. But then you want to kill other people to. And then comes the jail phase. So it’s best just to think about it I find.
14. Destructor
Well, for what it’s worth, I’m glad you didn’t. It would have been an awful waste of coding time for you to have upgraded the site only for there to be no-one to update it.