Breaking News: Mil Millington says he will not sleep with Alyson Hannigan.

'It's never going to be an issue,' I insist. Desperately. I can feel everything slipping away from me here. There's a buzzing in my ears. My knees aren't secure. I may possibly start to cry.

'If it's never going to be an issue, then there's absolutely no problem with your promising, is there?'

I draw in a sharp breath - I'm about to counter-attack. I'm about to rage, 'Gah! Do you want to stand here and make me promise not to sleep with every attractive actress and singer and novelist in the world one-by-one?!' Fortunately, a sudden, swooping gust of prescience brings me Margret's certain reply to this rhetorical question. I keep my idiot mouth shut. That's it then - it's checkmate in two; may as well knock the king over now and salvage a little dignity.
'OK,' I say. Quietly. My gaze weighted down feetwards.

'What?'

'OK.'

'Say it all.'

I look up into her eyes, hoping to see a tiny spark of mercy. There's nothing.
'OK. I promise I will not sleep with Alyson Hannigan.'
The words come out, and, somewhere deep inside me, a light is turned off, forever.