The news has badly reported this talk about banning parents smacking children. As Green Fairy rightly writes, "the recommendations are only to end to the defence of "reasonable chastisement" in child abuse cases". Which is something completely different. There is a difference between a smacking and hitting. A good parent knows the difference.
I think I must have got smacked about 4 or 5 times as a kid. Tops. My parents didn't use the 'belt' or the 'back hand' as a means to discipline. It was a Jewish house hold, and boy was the guilt trip bad enough. If you thinking smacking is an effective form of discipline you have never been the victim of a Jewish guilt trip and have no idea how far more effective it is.
Anyhow I digress. When I did get smacked on the (very) odd occasion I knew I was in trouble and had done something wrong. Big time. Curiously I cannot remember any of these times save one. The irony of it being, it was the one time I was actually innocent. The smack didn't hurt as much as the indignation of my protested innocence. To be fair I cried wolf quite often as a kid anyway.
I was bigger (still am) and stronger (almost still am) than my brother. And I had three years on him. So I did have a tenancy to push him around (on occasion). And he had a tenancy to cry and get me into trouble. I recall the one time we had a massive fight. Yelling and screaming at each other and name calling and other childish thing that children do. The fight had something to do with a stack of old news papers. I have no idea what the was probably about 15 years ago or so.
So near the end of this fight I walk into my brothers room and drop this massive stack of papers on his floor. It hits the floor with a massive thwack. My brother bursts into tears (like I said he did that a lot when we were kids) and my dad hearing this thinks I have belted my brother. Walks into the room and gives me an almighty smack and tells me not to hit my brother. He then storms out (I think he had had enough of our bickering after several hours of us going on) oblivious to my protests of innocence.
So I stood their, stinging from the smack, but mostly undignified, as I was actually innocent of hitting my brother. I supposed I had spent the better part of an hour annoying and upsetting my brother anyway, but i didn't actually hit him. To this day this is the only instance I remember of actually being smacked, although I vaguely remember getting the odd spanking when I really had got myself into some decent trouble.
1. Sara
Let’s see.. I got the belt, the wooden spoon, and one insane moment,with my mother chasing me down the street with a spatula. I deserved every spanking I got. Ahh.. the memories.
2. Nobby
Sheesh! I should come over to your house more often… getting that sort of thing costs a lot of money round here!!
;-)
3. Ronny
My backgound and current research here in the US is in child psychology and family therapy. Both research and practice say, “NO HITTING AT ALL. THE END.” I’ve seen mild and severe cases and both are completely avoidable. With children, words not violence. For an adult to hit or slap a child is irrational. Teach! Parent! And pick on someone your own size. Now, all I need is a few minutes in the boxing ring (no gloves) with Liam Fox.
4. Adrian
Ronny, i definately think their are times when a child needs a slap. Such as when he is about o put his finger in a plug socket at the acge of 2.
Read the debate on green fairy’s site here for some good healthy debate.
5. Renata @ Work
One of those instances would be when your 6 year old beats a 6 month old puppy to death. Beating now, talking later.
6. Brother Jon
Ha ha ha…i do remember you getting smacked for something you didn’t do (justifies all those times you got away with something you did do)
I also remember me getting into trouble for throwing a hammer at your nose (and bang on target!!) while playing ‘catchers’ with you…but (as I remember) you said I could throw it to even up the 3 years you had on me (weren’t you just so fast back then…)
I think dad beat you too softly. Clearly you didn’t learn much.