Apologies for the break in transmission

I'm quite tense at the moment. You can tell I'm tense cause my 'passive aggressive' behave starts increasing exponentially. Hell I start annoying myself and thats a bad sign. I'm tense for a few reasons

Between the desire to gouge my eyes out (Hayfever) or the feeling of walking though syrup (Sinus pains) I'm starting to hate summer. Don't even say the words pollen count to me. I'm now taking drugs. Don't even vaguely mention this issue to me. I mutate and kill.
I go through phases of being happy for no reason. This is normally followed by phases of being tense and aggressive for no reason. I'm a slave to the sine wave.
Work. Explained below
Sleep. Food. Exercise. Vastly improved over a year ago. Not as good as 6 months ago. Not as good as I want. Motivation partially lacking. Discipline mostly lacking.
Greek island holiday. One hassle after another. Should get visa tomorrow. Then I am not thinking about it till I pack which should be in about 2 months time.
Finance. Same old story. Lifestyle point above expenditure. Normalising via ebay.
Internal conflict of reflex vs . introspection vs. ambivalence. Don't even ask me to explain. I'm not sure I can. I don't want to either. Not negotiable. I'm not discussion this with anyone period. Time well tell. Issue closed albeit not resolved. Still does sit on the back of my mind either way.

The main thing is work though. I think. Without explaining too much (not at liberty to say), there are changes a foot. Big changes. Very big changes. Changes that could mean a pay cut or redundancy. Changes that even if not catastrophic will be big change. The problem is no one knows what the fuck is going on. So it means a combination of about 30% insecurity and 70% instability at work at the moment. Really uncomfortable. The waiting just puts everyone in limbo. And some cogs move slowly.

So I apologise to all I have snapped at or otherwise been a prick too. I get like this every now and then. Normal service to resume shortly.

7 Comments

23 Jun, '03 1:10 PM

1. Lisa

Blame it on hormones, eat a bucket full of chocolate, have a good cry, call a sympathetic friend and whinge at them for hours, and then go shopping.

Wot? It works for me.

23 Jun, '03 1:21 PM

2. Adrian

Defeats point 4.

And I think people may start questioning my sexuality if I follow that list to the letter.

23 Jun, '03 2:09 PM

3. razorhead

Blame it on hormones, drink a bottle of whiskey, have a good cry, call a sympathetic friend for a ‘bonding’ session, and then go to a strip club.

Nah! Doesn’t work me either.

23 Jun, '03 2:20 PM

4. Adrian

Getting closer razor. Nothing like a whiskey and a stip joint. Although that will bugger point 6. Damn.

23 Jun, '03 5:34 PM

5. Joe

Poor dear - and to think your country is about to get it’s arse whooped at cricket. See, made you smile, if not fall off your chair in manic hysterics, with the absurdness. Ha, but you never know - miracles do happen…..

23 Jun, '03 7:24 PM

6. Gert

You’ve not snapped at me…

24 Jun, '03 8:51 AM

7. Adrian

Joe. Arse wooped? My ass.

Gert. You haven’t had 1-1 comms with me yet. I’ve been a right pain.