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I got some bad porn as a joke (belated) birthday present. And by bad I mean possibly the worst porn I have ever seen. And that includes Gladiator Eroticus which is actually quite funny and gets points for comedic value. However the only thing Star Whores has going for it is the odd latex outfit from House of Harlot which is semi reasonable. The story line is less than appalling. Unfortunately this appalling script is butchered (and trust me this takes some doing) but the worst acting I have ever seen bar none.

I know acting isn't the primary point of a porn movie, but then it's and English made porn. So the porn is pretty rubbish too. None of the actresses (and I use this term loosely) actually look like they are enjoying themselves. In fact they spend more time tripping over the appalling script and trying to recite the worst attempt at talking dirty I have ever heard. It's all pretty much like a FF cup silicon implant. Takes up a lot of space, but is really just plastic in the end. Porn has one task, to turn you on. Normally this should be like shooting fish in a barrel, but this is only interesting to note how bad it is. I would rather watch big brother and thats saying much. The problem with English porn is you don't actually get to see any actual sex, if any is actually going on below the camera shot. I have seen more erotic adverts on the continent.

Oh and the funniest thing is that the special effects credits are listed as Ken and His Dad. There where better special effects in the Batman movie. You know the original one like 30 years ago or so.

I have used the words whore and porn in this post. Search engines, do your worst.