We grow. We get older. We mature. Sometimes we revert. Today I spent acting like a 16 year old. Possibly even a 16 year old girl. I spent the day watching the phone waiting for it to ring. I spent ages trying to look good. I didn't flap my arms around or screech, but it's possible I wasn't far off.
Today I met up with Petunia. She said yesterday she was going shopping today and would call me in the morning. So I woke up switched on the cricket (we won) and then kept checking the phone. She called me at about lunch time and had a nice chat while she was on the way to the tube and then said she was going shopping in [shopping area 1] and would call me later and if I wanted to could meet up in [shopping area 2] which was fairly near me.
I was a bit surprised at being asked if I still wanted to meet up as the answer was pretty much "Hell yeah". I have wanted to see her again for weeks, but it is highly likely she was unaware I had reverted to acting like a 16 year old girl waiting to be asked to the prom.
I then watched the rest of the cricket and tried to distract myself. Largely unsuccessfully. I checked the phone more often than a sane man would and started to wonder if she was going to decide she didn't want to meet up or something. Few people do unsubstantiated paranoia like I can when left alone.
To further prove that I was reverting to a school girl, I took longer to make my hair look casually funky than I ever have. Spent ages shaving all but my "Fred Durst" goatee. Carefully picked out clothes that I hoped made me look good. Wore my leathers again cause she had remarked previously that I probably looked hot in them. Lucky I don't put on make up, but its worrying how much time I spent looking like I didn't spend any time trying to look good. I am sure I was as transparent as something that is very transparent.
I then paced a lot and pushed things around the house on the vague pretence I was 'tidy' but wasn't fooling anyone especially myself. At about fourish I phoned Craig to phone someone. If I didn’t I would have phoned or texted Petunia and she would have figured out I was acting like a teeny bopper girl with a crush and wouldn't have made any sort of impression that can be called good. Craig was a legend and explained some things to me that made sense. Petunia called about 10 or 15 minutes later, and I was a happy camper.
I met her for coffee and it was very good to see her again. For all the technology in the world, it never quite is as good as people in the flesh. We chatted and laughed and had (what I felt was) a really good time till the coffee shop closed. I was late for dinner at mates who were doing a Sunday roast, but them being mates understood, and I would have been much later had I been afforded the opportunity.
I must say certain points of the conversation I struggled to focus on what she was saying. Not for anything she was saying, but because I kept thinking things in the back of my head and then reprimanding myself for not listening and being distracted. For example she has really sexy lips. I love thin lips on a girl and she just has the really killer lips. Or she was talking about some skirts and short skirts she owned and it was hard not to visualise her in them. She really has these nice long legs and after she was talking about the skirts she was sitting with her foot up on the chair and her leg bent. This meant that her jeans were pulled really tight and it was difficult not look at her legs. Or when she put her cap on when we left and looked rather cute. So I was on one level chatting quite happily and on the other thinking how good she looked. I distract easily.
I on the other hand am sure I came across as trying to hard. I got their and it was absolutely freezing outside. I take off my jacket and fleecy. My fleecy look rather dagey, but I had a nice shirt on underneath. She remarked I would probably be cold and I said that I would be fine. An hour later I had to put the fleece on because I was cold. I don’t think I could have been more obvious.
Hopefully I came across more like Chandler (cure and enduring) as opposed to a 16 year old with a crush. I really enjoyed the evening and I got a message fro, her later on saying that she did too which was a relief.
I go on holiday tomorrow which is good. When I get back it’s a new year and there is something different about a new year. Even though it’s a completely man made mark in the ground, it still represents something fresh.
All I can say is it has been interesting and I have enjoyed it but on reflection I am emotionally exhausted. It's been a long year and the break will do me good.
